And so it starts!
Today is the day...and so was last week, and the week before. I have been wanting to lose weight and get healthy for what seems like years. I just don't have the drive, nor the support to do so!
I have a horrible relationship with food.. and in turn a horrible relationship with my weight. I have always had issues with eating what ever I want.. with no care as to how it will effect my body. High blood pressure and diabetes run in my family.. and if I don't do something about it now I'm afraid I will end up with both. Sooner then later.
I have tried many times to lose weight with no luck. I say luck.. but luck honestly has nothing to do with it. Time after time I start this kick, where I will not eat anything bad for me. No pop, no sugar, no junk. Within a few days I fall off the wagon because I crave it more then anything in this world. This crap that I put into my body is like a drug.. I stop but I always keep coming back because I feel so awful without it!
To top off my awful relationship with food, I have always been in a relationship where I would enable my partner to eat, and in turn, he would enable me to do the same. Take out every other day, if we had the money or not. Pop to drink.. and ice-cream and so on. A vicious cycle to be repeated over and over. I sit here, feeling like a total failure. This fight is a hard one.. as hard as the next. While we all have our demons.. I'm putting mine on display.
I fear that if I don't do something now.. all will be lost. This is my last chance to feel good about myself. I want to be able to chase my child around the yard without needing to stop and catch my breath. Or stop for fear that my heart may pound right out of my chest.
I'm doing this in hopes that not only will I be able to get some support.. but to hopefully find people who feel just like me. Maybe in some way I can help someone else. Or someone can get some sort of insight from my failures and pain.
****Warning that I will be posting pictures of myself. If you don't want to see then please don't look.. Or if you do look please keep any comments to yourself. I feel horrible enough. This is something very scary and its taking a lot of courage to finally do this. *****
Here are my stats,
Weight: 242.5 lbs
Bust: 42.5 inches
Waist: 39 inches
Tummy 51 inches
Hips: 56 inches
My plan is to use the workout from beach body, the 21 days fix. I have started the workout today.. and will start with the modified workout. I must say.. that had to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. I cant believe how horribly out of shape I am. I was only about to do about 30 seconds of each workout, and could only complete 20 minutes of the 30 minutes before I felt slightly unwell.
I'm not going to jump right into this super strict diet. If I do this I'm sure to fail. I have cut quiet a bit of sugar today. I will stop drinking pop as my first step and portion what I am eating. Attempting to stay away from eating a lot of carbs, and more protein. In my photo today of what I ate, you will see that yes I have eaten what most will say it a lot of carbs and salt and sugar.. but this is SIGNIFICANTLY less then my what body is used to! So for me.. this is a huge step.
I will be posting as often as I can with an 8 month old !
Here's to getting healthy! <3
I have a horrible relationship with food.. and in turn a horrible relationship with my weight. I have always had issues with eating what ever I want.. with no care as to how it will effect my body. High blood pressure and diabetes run in my family.. and if I don't do something about it now I'm afraid I will end up with both. Sooner then later.
I have tried many times to lose weight with no luck. I say luck.. but luck honestly has nothing to do with it. Time after time I start this kick, where I will not eat anything bad for me. No pop, no sugar, no junk. Within a few days I fall off the wagon because I crave it more then anything in this world. This crap that I put into my body is like a drug.. I stop but I always keep coming back because I feel so awful without it!
To top off my awful relationship with food, I have always been in a relationship where I would enable my partner to eat, and in turn, he would enable me to do the same. Take out every other day, if we had the money or not. Pop to drink.. and ice-cream and so on. A vicious cycle to be repeated over and over. I sit here, feeling like a total failure. This fight is a hard one.. as hard as the next. While we all have our demons.. I'm putting mine on display.
I fear that if I don't do something now.. all will be lost. This is my last chance to feel good about myself. I want to be able to chase my child around the yard without needing to stop and catch my breath. Or stop for fear that my heart may pound right out of my chest.
I'm doing this in hopes that not only will I be able to get some support.. but to hopefully find people who feel just like me. Maybe in some way I can help someone else. Or someone can get some sort of insight from my failures and pain.
****Warning that I will be posting pictures of myself. If you don't want to see then please don't look.. Or if you do look please keep any comments to yourself. I feel horrible enough. This is something very scary and its taking a lot of courage to finally do this. *****
I woke up this morning, like all mornings to my baby girl waking up. I weighed myself for the first time in a few weeks.. and I couldn't believe what I saw. How can I be only 9 lbs less then my 9month pregnant self. Bleh! So today starts it all!
Here are my stats,
Weight: 242.5 lbs
Bust: 42.5 inches
Waist: 39 inches
Tummy 51 inches
Hips: 56 inches
My plan is to use the workout from beach body, the 21 days fix. I have started the workout today.. and will start with the modified workout. I must say.. that had to be one of the hardest things I have ever done. I cant believe how horribly out of shape I am. I was only about to do about 30 seconds of each workout, and could only complete 20 minutes of the 30 minutes before I felt slightly unwell.
I'm not going to jump right into this super strict diet. If I do this I'm sure to fail. I have cut quiet a bit of sugar today. I will stop drinking pop as my first step and portion what I am eating. Attempting to stay away from eating a lot of carbs, and more protein. In my photo today of what I ate, you will see that yes I have eaten what most will say it a lot of carbs and salt and sugar.. but this is SIGNIFICANTLY less then my what body is used to! So for me.. this is a huge step.
I will be posting as often as I can with an 8 month old !
Here's to getting healthy! <3
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